


The Fear That Drives

by hit_the_books



Series: Blood and Gold [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Multi, Original Character(s), Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Reader-Insert, Smut, Threesome, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-22
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-25 04:14:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3796327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hit_the_books/pseuds/hit_the_books
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This part takes place between season nine episodes "Sharp Teeth" and the beginning of "The Purge".</p><p>You're an alchemist, perhaps one of the most gifted of this age. You've been in a relationship with Sam Winchester for over a month now, living with him in the Bunker. You've been trying to make things work, but with everything that's been happening, you've been finding it hard to maintain your relationship with Sam. Normal hasn't found you yet and Dean is about to take things from about as far away from the status quo as they can get... but only after you mess up the life of your best friend first, while losing your grip on what's right and wrong.</p><p>And it's not like you can wave a wand and make it all go away - you gotta take comfort where you can find it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Turns

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I've made it to part 5 of my first ever fic. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it :)

THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP!

“I’m coming, hold your horses,” Dean shouted groggily, as he got out of his bed and went to his bedroom door.

Pulling the door open, Dean was shocked at how pale Sam looked as he stood there, clearly panicked. For a moment, Dean thought that something had happened to Y/N again, but what Sam said next Dean was not expecting to hear.

“Something’s happened to Karen, we gotta go,” Sam said breathlessly.

“Hold on, Karen?!”

“Yeah, I’m gonna see if I can track her cell, but I need you to get anything we might need and get the Impala ready to leave,” Sam replied as he began heading back towards the incident room.

“Don’t forget to change,” Dean called after Sam, looking at his brother’s dishevelled suit.

Dean went back into his room and started getting dressed. The idea of something happening to Karen concerned him more than he thought it would. She’d been so nice during that one night they spent together, but didn’t spend together, back in Y/N and hers hometown, that Dean realised that he had grown fond of Karen - with similar tastes in music and women - what wasn’t to like?

Finally dressed, Dean grabbed whatever and threw it in his bag, before heading out to the garage.

*

Satisfied he had everything they needed, bar Sam and Y/N actually being in the car, Dean jogged back to the incident room to see if they’d had any luck in locating Karen and were ready to go. Sam was just putting his laptop in his satchel when Dean stopped moving. If this had been under any other circumstances, Dean knew he would have spent more time admiring the way Y/N’s v-neck shirt plunged down the way it did, her necklace trailing between her breasts, but they needed to be gone.

“So where we headed?” Dean asked as Sam and Y/N picked up their bags and Y/N cradled her chest.

“Karen’s house,” Y/N replied in a flat tone. Dean tried not to read too much into the way Y/N sounded, but he knew the last thing he wanted was for her to go off the deep end again.

Dean marched the three of them to the car, with Sam locking up the Bunker behind them.. As Dean pulled away and Sam and Y/N snuggled up on the back seat, Dean felt the Mark burn ever so slightly, but ignored the pain.

Leaving the town of Lebanon, Kansas behind them and heading north west, Dean couldn’t help thinking about Karen. The way she’d taken control of things when Y/N had been attacked, the way she chugged through beer and could break walnuts with her bare hands - the way she laughed at Dean’s jokes. Part of Dean had been a little spiteful that Karen would never go with him, but he’d managed to get over that and realise just how amazing a person Karen was.

That night back in her local bar, Karen had been the Queen of all she surveyed. The staff respected her, the regulars respected her. They all knew who were Karen’s type and that didn’t bother them one bit. Because this was the woman who’d faced down a murderer and saved Y/F/N’s granddaughter. Dean had been awed by the respect afforded to Karen.

“When I looked that bastard in the eyes,” Karen had said between swigs of beer, “I just knew. Knew to the core of my marrow. I didn’t care what it was, but I needed to it away from Y/N. It was pure instinct that I’d grabbed Y/F/N’s silver letter opener and managed to slice it enough to get it away from Y/N and what was left of her granddaddy.”

Dean recounted his run-ins with werewolves over the years and shocked Karen with his descriptions of some of the bloody scenes he and Sam had come across. But instead of freaking out, Karen had listened carefully and thoughtfully, storing away everything Dean was saying, all while getting through several bottles of beer.

“And demons?” Karen had finally asked.

That area of lore had left Karen stony faced, with a mean pout on her lips. “I think I’ll get a tattoo like Y/N’s and yours. I don’t think I would want to be so lost,” she’d said once Dean had returned with shots of whiskey.

“Sure,” Dean had replied, the drink beginning to affect him, “but there are so many other things they can try and do to you, the sick bastards. You need salt and holy water too.”

“Do you think any of what Y/N knows can help with them?” Karen had asked, after breezing through her shot.

Rubbing his face and giving Karen’s question a long hard think, Dean had replied, “I don’t know. But, I mean, who knows what’s possible, right? She can’t die. I once saw her stop a dragon with some lead shavings and a few other things thrown together.”

“You know, I thought she was a witch when she first told me about what she and her grandfather got up to.”

“HA! Sam and I made the same mistake and she did not respond kindly to that accusation,” Dean had replied with a smile on his face.

The road ahead, now as he drove like crazy to reach Karen, was empty. It was almost five in the morning. Dawn was on the horizon and Dean afforded a peek at Y/N and Sam curled up on the back seat. The pair of them didn’t sleep easy, Dean noted, seeing how they frowned in their sleep, their foreheads creased, the tension coming off of them in waves.

A teeny, tiny part of Dean reflected sourly on the situation. It was the last thing they needed right now, what with Abaddon and Metatron still at large and the First Blade yet to be found… And things still weren’t fine between him and Sam. Recoiling at himself, Dean tried to stop himself thinking like that, thinking about his problems, and looked guiltily at Y/N on the back seat.


	2. Feathers

When Sam switched with Dean to take a turn at driving, so that Dean could get some sleep, you moaned so much about the lack of human pillow that Dean relented and joined you in the back. You’d settled back down to sleep quickly, with no thought as to what Dean really felt about this. When Sam had switched with Dean again, you’d snuggled down into Sam with equal closeness, seeming indifferent about which human pillow was yours. You slept almost the entire way to your home town, still partially recovering from the effects of what you’d done to yourself that week.

It was the smell of the patisserie, getting ready for the morning, down the street from Karen’s house that finally wakes you up and tells you where you are. Sam is driving again, slowly pulling the Impala up alongside Karen’s house, as you pull away from Dean.

“We’re here,” Sam says, calling to Dean and you in the back.

You scramble to the door nearest the pavement, climbing over Dean in the process, ignoring his protests to where you’re putting your hands and knees. Getting out of the car, you don’t seem to hear the protests from Sam and Dean for you to wait for them as you run up the steps to Karen’s front door and feel your heart sink as you see it open. Sense catches up with you and stop short of actually going into the house.

“The door’s open,” you call back to Sam and Dean. A few moments later, the pair join you on the front door step. Sam offers you a gun, but you refuse it.

Dean motions for Sam and you to follow him, as he starts pushing the front door open and stepping inside of Karen’s house. The brothers naturally fan out ahead of you and begin checking room by room. You instinctively head towards Karen’s lounge, hearing the faint sound of a not-so-muted television. Entering the lounge, you see a vase broken on the floor, red roses spilling out in all directions and a book half ripped in front of the couch. Near the television, you find the cracked cell phone that Karen had called you on. You turn off the TV.

And then the scent hits you. It’s not sulphur, as you’d feared, instead it’s something much, much worse…

“Sam, Dean!” You yell. You hear the thump of their boots as they pound their way to the lounge.

“Y/N? What is it?” Sam asks, looking around the minor scene of devastation surrounding you.

“Can you smell that?” You ask Sam and Dean. The brothers shake their heads.

“No, what?” Dean asks, taking a few steps closer to you.

“It’s almost like the sickly sweet scent that cherubs have, only this is a bit less sweet… Kind of like the way Cas smells, but stronger…” You let your words hang.

You notice the way Sam swallows hard, his body tensing. “Are you saying an angel did this?”

You nod yes. “I don’t smell any sulphur in this house. It smells like heaven’s brats to me.”

As Sam starts putting his hands through his hair, clearly trying to think of what to do, Dean pulls out his phone and dials Cas. You go and stand beside Dean, listening carefully. It takes a while, but on the fifth ring, Cas picks up.

“Dean?” You hear Cas ask.

Dean doesn’t bother with small talk and just gets to the point. “We’ve got a situation, seems an angel has abducted Y/N’s friend Karen.”

Cas doesn’t say anything in reply for several moments, then, “Is Y/N there?”

“Yeah,” Dean replies.

“Let me speak with her.” Dean hands you the phone.

“Cas?”

“Y/N, there should still be a trail. If you mix some Gotu Kola with -”

You know where this is going. “Fresh pig’s blood?”

“Yes!” Cas replies, “How did you know?”

“They have a better sense of smell than dogs.”

“Of course. Yes, mix those two together, drink it and I believe that it should enhance your existing, powerful olfactory sense.”

“Thanks, Cas. Do you want to speak to Dean again?”

“Yes.” You hand the phone back to Dean and go over to Sam. Sam looks less than eager to tangle with any angels again so soon, but you decide to remain positive. You put Sam’s right hand in both of yours and stroke it with your thumbs.

“We need to head to out to one of the local farms,” you say to Sam, looking up into this green-hazel eyes.

“Right, of course. You want me to come?” Sam looks down at you, forcing a smile. You try to ignore how nervous he obviously is.

Dean is off the phone now and looking at the pair of you. “Let’s all go.”

*

“That was not pretty,” Dean stated as he you drove back down the dirt track you’d only gone up a half hour earlier. Considering the factory farm conditions the animal had been kept in, you almost feel like you have done the pig a favour by killing it. But as you add the Gotu Kola from your chest to the jar filled with the pig’s still slightly warm blood, you know that reasoning offers little solace for what had just happened.

Noticing Dean looking at you in the rear view mirror, you give him an innocent smile.

“Just don’t spill any of that,” Dean says before fully putting his attention back on the road so that you can get back to Karen’s house and the beginning of the trail.

“Everything’s fine, Dean,” Sam tries to reassure, as he watches you with the jar in your hands. Talking to you, Sam asks, “Are you sure you don’t want me to have it?”

You continue staring at the concoction between your hands. “You don’t already have my sense of smell, so there’s not much point. But thank you for offering to take my place.” You afford Sam a small smile before contemplating the jar again.

With the amounts involved, you know the potion is going to last more than a day. But, as you put the glass to your lips and begin to gulp down the thick, lukewarm, pig’s blood, you hope that you don’t need to mix up any more soon, as you force yourself not to throw up all over the inside of the Impala. It’s a tough battle, but as the minutes pass, and the iron taste of the blood lingers on your tongue, you manage to not throw up.

Without warning, your hands convulse and Sam grabs the jar from you.

“Y/N!” Sam cries, as you try to regain control of your nervous system.

“I’m… okay…” You manage to say as suddenly all the smells in the car hit you all at once, surmounting your usual ability to keep things at bay. The muskiness, spinach, books of Sam. The leather, bourbon and oil of Dean. The need underlying both of the guys. Further, your awareness extends to the gas in the tank, the oil in the engine, the salt and goofer dust in the trunk. The silver blades, holy water and virgin wood for stakes. Stainless steel blades. The cold, metal of dozens upon dozens of guns. Gunpowder. Gun oil. Rubber. Sex. Leather…

Thinking you need air, Dean winds down a window, only making it worse, as you head back into town. Passing by one house, you smell a bodily tang as a pregnant woman’s waters break and her husband surges with adrenaline; another and you can smell the lingering sickness of an elderly man whose kidneys aren’t doing so good. Meanwhile, the local fauna and wildlife assault you from every corner with their own smells and scents.

“Close… the… window…” You beg of Dean, trying to regain control of yourself.

You hear Dean wind it up, and once the smells from outside have abated, you slowly try to get in control of what your sense of smell is doing, distancing yourself from the mesh that surrounds you. Clearing and calming your mind, you finally reach a degree of equilibrium as you pull up outside Karen’s house.

“What was that?” Sam finally asks.

You manage to look at Sam, as your brain tries to process the extra sensory information coming from your olfactory sense. Instead of seeing Sam as you normally would, he looks brighter, somehow more there.

“The potion… works,” you manage to answer as you drink in everything that makes Sam, Sam.

Taking a deep breath, you open the door nearest you and gingerly step out of the Impala.

“I’ll just be a minute,” you say without waiting for Sam or Dean to reply as you head just outside Karen’s house. Cas is right, the trail is still there, you smell the angel and Karen, heading down the road in a direction that will take you out of town.

You point. “This way.”


	3. Three’s A Crowd

Sam would be lying if he said he wasn’t more than a bit worried since Y/N lapsed into silence about two miles outside of town. The chest was open, and Sam couldn’t get in the right position to see what Y/N was working on. All of the Impala’s windows were open as Dean drove below the limit so that Y/N could get a clear line on the scent of the angel that had taken Karen.

“Next left,” Y/N said suddenly.

A few moments later, Dean pulled the Impala on to a dirt track, off of the highway. The bumps on the road didn’t seem to affect whatever Y/N was doing. But Sam couldn’t stop worrying.

It was another half-mile before anyone spoke again.

“End of the road,” Dean announced as he parked the Impala up before the beginning of a nature trail leading into a forest. There were huge pine logs laid out, stopping any vehicles from proceeding into the trees. “Guess we’re on foot.”

Getting out of the Impala, Sam tried to see what Y/N was fiddling with, but he still couldn’t quite see over the lip of the chest. Shaking his head, he looked around the beginning of the trail and then spotted a beat up Chevrolet stopped under some trees. Heading over, he looked inside the windows, but no one was inside the car.

“This way,” Y/N called, pointing up the trail, a small bag hanging by her left hip. Sam walked up to Y/N and gave her a concerned look. “What’s up?”

“What were you… mixing up?”

“Just a back up plan,” Y/N answered. “Now come on.”

Before Sam could say anything else, Y/N began hiking up the trail in front of them. Dean grabbed Sam’s arm before he could follow.

“What has she been crafting in the back of my car, Sam?” Dean asked, handing Sam an angel blade from the trunk of the Impala.

“She won’t tell me.”

Sam looked at Dean, who looked back at him. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” said Dean before following after Y/N.

*

“Why would an angel take Karen?” Dean called to Y/N as she powered ahead of them. Sam had been wondering the same thing, but hadn’t said anything.

Y/N ignored Dean and continued walking.

‘It just doesn’t make any sense,’ Sam thought to himself. ‘Why her, why now? It’s not like she’s a demon… she’s pretty normal.’

‘But,’ Sam looked at Y/N’s back as it passed through some trees, the trail long since forgotten, ‘Y/N isn’t normal. She’s so far from normal… and powerful, even if she won’t admit it to herself.’

Sam began to feel even more ill-at-ease as he passed between the pines that Y/N had marched through just moments before. Drawing level with Dean, Sam whispered, “What if Karen was abducted to get to Y/N?”

Sam felt Dean tense beside him. He’d obviously been thinking the same thing. “I can’t imagine many of the angelic hordes being too happy with what she has.”

“Exactly. I mean, they’d probably think it was against God’s will or something to have an immortal human running about the place.” Sam then weighed the fullness of what he had just said.

“We’re walking right into a trap,” Dean whispered anxiously. “Do you think Y/N knows?”

“Probably, she spent most of the ride here putting something together.”

“Did you see what she was working on?”

“No,” Sam replied, concern edging his voice.

“Hell…”

Trying not to think too much about what was in Y/N’s bag, Sam decided to change the conversation to something else that had been bothering him a little.

“So, when it was my turn to drive on the way to Karen’s… You didn’t fuss that much when Y/N asked for you to serve as a pillow,” Sam whispered.

Again, Sam felt Dean tense up beside him.

“Is there something I should know about, Dean?”

“Look, Sam, nothing’s happened.”

Grabbing Dean’s arm, Sam forces him to stop walking. “Could something happen?”

Studying Dean’s face for all possible reactions, Sam can feel himself slowly getting angry, even though Dean hasn’t replied yet. Dean looks away and replies, “I don’t know.”

“Fuck, Dean!” Sam hissed.

“I admit it: she’s grown on me.”

For a brief moment, Sam recalls the last truth Y/N asked him before they left the restaurant where they had had their first real date, which felt like it had happened a million years ago, but it had in fact been less than two days since they’d played truth or dare.

Y/N had asked, “Who says this is going to be any less awkward - okay, Sam Winchester… Would you ever consider… having… a threesome involving me and a third party of my choice?” Sam had eventually said yes. But now, as Sam stared into Dean’s face, Sam was beginning to wonder who Y/N had in mind.

“Listen, Sam, surely this is Y/N’s choice to make,” Dean said, his voice sounding desperate.

Trying to calm himself, Sam replied, “Sure,” Sam went for the low blow, “it makes perfect sense that you’d chase after something I wanted. After all, you chased me from death.” Marching after Y/N, who was now way ahead, Sam ignored Dean as he tried to catch-up.


	4. Keep It Normal

Dean couldn’t lie to Sam again, after all that had happened of late. But he couldn’t face telling Sam the whole truth about how he felt towards Y/N, how he’d watched her when she was coming down off of the drugs that had almost driven her mad. How he’d had to touch himself so badly whenever he thought of her. In some ways, Y/N was Sam’s, but she was her own person. Dean didn’t plan on forcing anything and the sooner Sam realised that the better.

But catching up to Sam and Y/N in that forest and seeing the log cabin that was perched atop a low hill, Dean knew he’d hurt his brother again. Where fear and concern had been all that shaped Sam’s shoulders before they entered the forest, now Dean could tell that his brother felt betrayal, again.

“Stop,” Y/N ordered. The three of them stopped walking. “They’re inside there. I can smell them.”

“So what’s the plan?” Sam asked. Dean noticed the hesitation in Sam’s voice, but didn’t say anything.

Y/N rummaged in the bag and pulled out a gas mask and handed it to Sam. Dean was puzzled when she didn’t pull any more masks out of the bag.

“Uh, why does Sam get one of those and we don’t?” Dean queried.

“Because,” Y/N pulled a spray bottle out of her bag, “we’re unlikely to react to this.”

Dean peered at the bottle, but he couldn’t say what liquid was slooshing around inside it. “What is that?”

“Not water.” Y/N began heading to the cabin.

“Hey, wait!” Sam called, jogging after Y/N. Catching up, Dean pulled an angel blade from his jacket pocket.

Stood in front of the cabin’s front door, Dean could tell that things were probably about to get out of hand, even if he didn’t know exactly how. The way Y/N just stood there, her shoulders drawn back and her head up high, Dean knew that the angel inside that cabin was going to wish that it hadn’t messed with Karen.

“Put your mask on, Sam,” Y/N ordered. Sam fumbled with it and put it over his face, pulling the straps tight.

Y/N tried the door and it opened straight away, slowly with a creak, and so the three of them walked inside. In the pale light of mid-morning filtered by pines, on a wooden chair in the middle of the cabin’s main space, sat Karen. Calm, her legs crossed, her hands unbound.

“Karen?” Asked Y/N, her voice faltering slightly. Then Y/N tensed in front of Dean, almost causing him to walk into her.

“WHERE IS KAREN?!” Y/N screamed at the figure in front of them.

Dean suddenly realised what had happened. His stomach plummeted inside him. Sat in front of them, was an angel occupying Karen as a vessel.

“She’s in here,” replied the angel with Karen’s voice, but with none of her warmth.

Y/N started towards the angel, spray bottle aloft.

“Get out of her,” Y/N ordered, her voice almost a growl.

Dean and Sam reached out to Y/N and grabbed a shoulder each. Dean looked at Sam, his face frowning with worry, but Dean can’t see Sam’s face through the mask.

“First, we need to talk,” the angel said lazily, as it reclined further back on the chair. Dean felt hatred slowly begin to burn in him, he couldn’t stand seeing Karen being used like this.

Taking Y/N’s lack of reply as its cue, the angel got up from the chair and began to walk around it. “It’s time for you to stop running around with toys that you don’t understand how to control.”

“What these two?” Y/N joked harshly, motioning to Sam and Dean. “It’s not every nice to call them toys. They have feelings.”

The angel stopped behind the chair and gripped its back. “Insolent child, you know that I mean the stone.”

Dean watched, half-confused, as Y/N’s shoulders began to shift, he was behind her, so couldn’t see Y/N’s face. At first he thought she was crying, but-

“Hm, hm, ha! You think I don’t understand the stone? Fucking hell,” Y/N shot back.

“Mind your language,” the angel replied coldly.

Y/N shrugged free of Dean and Sam, and took a few steps closer to the thing that was using Karen. “How about you stop wearing my friend and get the fuck out of here. I don’t know what you told her to convince her to let you in, but it was a damn lie!”

“Hand over the stone and I’ll gladly leave.”

“Why do you want me to give over the stone, so badly? It won’t do anything for you. You can’t make Elixir or gold with it, its tethered to me. And I know how to use it.” Y/N stepped closer to the angel.

“Sam,” Dean whispered. Sam held out his hand, telling Dean to wait.

“As I said, you don’t-”

“What, am I some kind of unholy abomination you want to be rid of?” Y/N spat, and Dean saw the reaction on the angel’s face. Y/N seemed to be on the money.

“Just hand it over. What I intend to do with it is none of your concern.”

“Huh, so one of you little fuckers, with your wings clipped, don’t want any of us humans running around with a bit of power? A bit of a chance to stand up against all the damn hell you keep raising, despite what you’re meant to be?”

“I said, mind your lang-”

Y/N took another step towards Karen. “How about you start begging me for mercy?”

Dean was about to stop Y/N, when she finally pulled the trigger on the spray bottle, dousing Karen in a red tinted liquid. It was the scream that Dean wasn’t going to forget in a hurry.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The angel in Karen roared. Karen’s skin was covered in angry red blotches, which were quickly healing, but the pain clearly still lingered.

“NOW! You fucking ass hole, get out of my best friend or I’ll pour this down her throat!” Y/N yelled, the threat very real.

The angel looked between the three of them and then there was a blinding light. When it was safe to look, Dean rushed to Karen’s side, her body slumped over the back of the chair.

“What… is it over?” Karen had asked groggily.


	5. Forgiveness Will Have To Wait

Dean has Karen’s head cradled in his lap, as he puts a bottle of water to her lips. Sam, satisfied that Dean can keep an eye on Karen, marches you outside.

“Y/N, what the hell was that?!” Sam hisses in an angry whisper, having ripped the mask off, clearly not wanting Karen or Dean to hear the argument that you are now having.

“That was me taking care of things,” you reply, not necessarily feeling as guilty as you could.

Sam waves his arms up in the air in disbelief. “And just what was taking care of things mixed from?”

Looking down at the bottle still clutched in your hand, you reply matter-of-factly, “Three parts Elixir, one part demon blood and one part holy oil.”

You watch as Sam tries to control himself, tries to hold back, so that he doesn’t drive you further away. It’s obvious that he wants to berate you, but you’re convinced that you did the right thing and he knows that.

“Oh, Y/N…” Sam says, sadness beginning to fill his voice, “Look… I know we would have had a hard time trying to convince that angel to leave Karen, but… couldn’t you have given her the stone? Surely you’ve had enough Elixir to last a lifetime.”

A part of you think it’s sweet that Sam believes it’s all that simple, the rest knows that it isn’t. You sit down on the porch, putting the spray bottle beside you. “Sam… this stone,” you pull the necklace out and let the Philosopher’s Stone spin around in its little silver cage, “is a part of me. It is a part of my soul. Sure, the angel wouldn’t have been able to have made gold or the Elixir of life with it, but it’s a small nuke.

“So, imagine what else an angel could have done with a piece of soul. I was never going to hand this over, and because of how it’s tied to me, I would have to give it over willingly. But why would I give a nuclear weapon to a deranged being from heaven, hmmm?

“Plus, you’ve told me how many times they’ve looked down on you and Dean in disdain and disgust. I think it’s time they get off of their high horse and realise we’re not monkeys.”

Sam sits down beside you on your left. For the briefest moment, you allow yourself to smell him, before being overwhelmed by the other scents that surround you. Without asking, Sam wraps his right arm around you and squeezes tight. Emanating from the cabin, you can smell Karen’s fear riding off of her in waves, you pull your senses back to you.

“I suppose, when you put it like that it makes sense, though it’s harsh… But the way you talked to the angel and that potion… Y/N, I think you’ve crossed a line.”

Hearing Sam speak those words, you know they’re true. You know that Karen will never forgive you. Will never want to be in your company again. And while you had never originally intended to use that poison on her, you knew that no one had died today, and for you that was the best you could hope for.

Moving your mouth close to Sam’s right ear, you whisper, “At least you didn’t have to stab an innocent with an angel blade.”

Turning to you, Sam looks at you with wanting, honest eyes. You can feel yourself beginning to lose yourself in Sam’s hazel-green portals and before you know what’s happening, Sam is kissing you, hard, possessively, desperate for contact. Gently, Sam bites your lower lip and you open your mouth to him, allowing his tongue to explore you. It feels so good, so needed, that for a moment, you forget to hold back your senses and you know everything that is around you.

Aside from Sam’s immeasurable need swimming around you right now, you sense Dean’s distress and Karen’s fear above the background of nature and the log cabin. You pull away from Sam, unable to deal with the sensory explosion.

“Is something wrong?” Sam asks.

“I can’t do this right now, the pig’s blood is still affecting me and being kissed by you right then… I can smell Karen’s fear and Dean’s not too hot either. We really need to get back to the car.”

*

No one talked as you walked through the forest, back to where you’d left the Impala. It bothered you, but you understood why no one spoke. Reaching the car, Sam gets the keys from Dean and automatically goes to the driver’s door, while Dean ushers Karen to the back seat, an arm protectively around her.

You move quickly to get the chest out of the way and take it round to the front. No one says anything until you’re all inside the car.

“Where we heading?” Sam asks Dean.

“Karen wants to go to her Aunt’s. Head back into town and I’ll direct you from there,” answers Dean as he pulls Karens close to him and hugs her.

As Sam begins to turn the Impala around, you start rooting through your chest and don’t say a word. There’s nothing to say, at least not yet. You pull out a vial of dried forget-me-nots and a few other things, as well as an empty clean bottle and another bottle filled with distilled water. Filling the empty bottle with the some of the dried forget-me-nots and a few other bits, dried rose petals, then you pull out one of your hairs and you pour the water in over the ingredients. Stoppering the bottle, you give it a thorough shake.

By the time you’ve done all of this, Sam has reached the house of Karen’s aunt. You get out of the car, even though you know Karen won’t want to speak to you. But you want to offer her an out.

As Dean finishes hugging Karen, you walk up to her, your eyes to the ground.

“Karen,” you say, “I know you’ll probably never forgive me for any of this. But if the memory becomes too much, you can take this.” You look up at Karen and hold the bottle towards her.

Watching her face, you’re not sure what you see there. It’s not disgust, you’re sure of that, but certainly there is a touch of sadness.

“Thanks,” Karen says, her voice wobbly, as she takes the bottle away from you. Smiling at Dean, Karen ambles up to her aunt’s front porch and begins knocking on the door. Before it opens, the three of you are back in the Impala, with Dean behind the wheel.

You pull away as the door opens for Karen, and you don’t know if you’ll ever see your former best friend ever again. Sam is sat beside you and you nuzzle into him, though not yet tired enough to sleep.


	6. Back Seat Driver

They’d been on the road for hardly ten minutes. Sam rubbed his face into Y/N’s hair, enjoying the lingering scent of her shampoo. As his breath shifted against her, Sam could feel Y/N shudder slightly at his attention. Sam cocked his eyes upwards, without moving his face, and saw Dean watching the pair of them in the rear view mirror. On purpose, Sam inhaled Y/N’s scent again, and nuzzled her head.

Looking up again, Sam noticed that Dean’s eyes are on the road, but that his cheeks were a slight shade of pink. Casually, Sam let his right hand drop between Y/N’s legs, pleased when she made just enough noise to get Dean’s attention again.

“Mmmmmmmmmm,” Y/N moaned into Sam’s chest.

Bringing his left hand up to Y/N’s face, Sam turned her lips up to his and kissed Y/N deeply, and then teased his tongue inside Y/N’s mouth. As he traced his tongue again and again over Y/N’s, Sam kept sneaking peeks at the rear view mirror, watching his brother go redder and redder.

It took ten minutes of kissing and heavy petting before Dean loudly declared that they would be checking into the first motel he found. Unfortunately for Dean, but very fortunately for Sam, whose mood was somewhere on the playful scale, it was at least three hundred miles of highway before they found a motel with vacancies available.

Knowing that Y/N was a quivering mess when they pulled up to the first available motel, Sam couldn’t help feeling smug as he and Dean went to the reception to book rooms.

“Could we book two rooms, one double and one king?” Sam asked, still amused by how obviously flustered Dean is.

“I’m sorry, only got one, left, a king. There’s a couch if that helps,” replied the middle-aged man working the motel desk.

Before Dean could protest, Sam answered, “We’ll take it.” He could feel Dean’s eyes burn into him as he paid the man for the room and got the keys.

Walking back to the Impala, Dean said, “I’ll sleep in the car.”

But Sam was determined that some choices would be made that night. Determined and feeling reckless. Feeling like he had more control than he’d had since he was finally rid of Gadreel. “You’ve got at least join us for a drink. I’ve got a bottle of whiskey in the back with our names on it.”

Dean didn’t say anything until almost reaching the car. “Fine.”

*

Bags hauled  in, shot glasses out, Sam, Dean and Y/N worked their way through their second shots of whiskey to little effect. Though Sam couldn’t help chuckling to himself as Y/N gasped, again, at its strong flavour, feeling the movement of her body through his legs as she lounged between them at the foot of the couch.

On the third shot, Y/N cried, “To fucking things up and kicking ass!”

“Here, here!” Sam and Dean both cried and they banged their third whiskeys back.

As Y/N put her arms up in the air and leaned back against Sam’s legs, Sam could see down Y/N’s top. Sam catches a glimpse out of the corner of his eye as Dean’s face turns a healthy shade of pink once more.

Before another round of shots can be poured, Dean got up from the couch and motioned for Sam to follow him. As he and Dean went outside the motel room for a minute, closing the door behind them, Sam wondered what Dean was going to say.

“Sam, just what exactly are you hoping to achieve with all of this? I’m not getting drunk in a motel room with you and Y/N!” Dean whispered loudly.

Smirking at Dean, Sam replied, “I’m giving Y/N a choice: you or me.”

“Fine… but has it ever occurred to you that Y/N may not want either of us or…”

“Or what?” Sam asked, as he began to feel a touch anxious.

“Or that she might just pick both of us. Have you thought about that? Look, I get that you don’t necessarily want to share and that you’re probably hoping that you’re not about to end up in an awkward threesome with your brother, whose guts you hate… but I’m not going back in that car until I know who or what she wants.” Dean put his hand on the door to the room to go back inside, but Sam reached out and stopped him.

“Do you love her?” Sam asked, all joking gone from his voice.

Sam watched Dean closely, hoping he wasn’t about to hear a lie. “I don’t know,” was Dean’s honest answer.

Sam opened the door and ushered the both of them back into their motel room. Y/N was sat on the king sized bed, looking at them expectantly.

“You should learn to whisper better,” Y/N said, her voice in a mocking half-whisper.

“Uh-” Sam began to speak, but Y/N held her right hand up and Sam stopped talking.

Y/N stayed on the bed, and studied Sam and Dean. Sam couldn’t help, for a moment, feeling like a piece of meat. Y/N’s gaze could have that effect.

“I’m a curious person,” began Y/N, “it’s part of being an alchemist. And, when I didn’t realise that Dean had been dosed with cherub’s feather back when we first met… I was interested.

“And I’ve become curious again, since then… But open relationships are hard work. And I’ve never been with two brothers at the same time. Two brothers who are currently pretending that they’re not brothers.”

“Uh,” Dean piped up, “It’s just Sam who’s pretending we’re not brothers.”

“What I’m saying is: do you both want to go down this road?” Y/N ended, maintaining her gaze over Sam and Dean.

“And, Dean, don’t you have something to tell us?” Y/N asked. “We can’t do anything unless we’re honest now.”

Sam looked at his brother, saw him rubbing the back of his head, an embarrassed look on his face. “Do I have to?” Dean asked, awarkedness flooding his voice.

Sam looked to Y/N who nodded yes.

“Okay, Sam,” Dean said as Sam looked at him, “When you were out getting supplies the other day, when Y/N was coming down… I watched Y/N masturbate herself and it really turned me on,” Dean confessed. “That’s when I realised that something was there.”

Looking to Y/N, Sam couldn’t help gawping at her. “You knew about this?”

“I figured it out after the fact,” replied Y/N.

Sam was now less sure about his control of the situation. He hadn’t imagined it going like this at all. It wasn’t that he was repulsed by the idea of Dean and Y/N together, a part of him liked the idea of watching, finding out if Dean could make Y/N gasp, moan and move in new and different ways… He could feel himself beginning to get hard.

“Are we allowed to watch each other?” Dean asked, his voice husky.

“If you want to, sure,” Y/N replied.

“Are we allowed to play with you at the same time?” Sam asked.

“I’m comfortable with that if you are,” Y/N replied.

“Can… we… take it in turns?” Dean, asked. Sam knew what he meant.

“Yes,” answered Y/N.

“Yes,” Sam also replied.

Sam didn’t look back at Dean as he strode over to Y/N on the bed, stripping his boots and clothes off of himself as he walked. Having reached the bed, he began to help Y/N out of her own. Sam only knew Dean had joined them once when the bed shifted with his weight, but he joined in, helping Y/N out of her clothes.

Once everyone was naked, Sam went straight for Y/N’s folds, teasing her apart with his tongue and then going straight for her clit. Sam peeked over Y/N’s hips and saw Dean hover at the top of the bed, kissing Y/N and tasting her mouth.

Between licks, Sam slid two fingers inside Y/N and was amazed at how wet she already was. He fingered her, making Y/N clench in orgasm around his fingers after only a handful of sweetly directed strokes.

It was going to be a long night.


	7. That Night

Standing by the motel room door, Dean wasn’t sure if he was hearing things right. But as Y/N continued to talk, he realised that everyone wanted comfort in that room. Everyone wanted to feel something beyond the horror they’d all felt earlier.

“Are we allowed to watch each other?” Dean asked, his voice husky.

“If you want to, sure,” Y/N replied.

“Are we allowed to play with you at the same time?” Sam asked.

“I’m comfortable with that if you are,” Y/N replied. “And the safe word is: lace.”

Dean let Sam head in first, as he hastily began removing his own boots, jeans, and shirts. Ignoring the dull throb of the Mark, Dean waltzed up to the bed and joined in helping Y/N get undressed, but it was short work. Allowing Sam to head down between Y/N’s legs, Dean caught Y/N’s face in his calloused hands and began to kiss her deeply. It wasn’t long before Dean’s tongue found Y/N’s and he felt himself hardening as Y/N groaned into his mouth.

“Mmmmmmmmmm,” Y/N moaned, again and again.

Even just kissing Y/N was more contact than Dean had hoped for less than a day ago, and now he was naked beside her, exploring her. He could feel himself getting harder and harder.

“Mmmmmnnngh.” It was Dean’s turn to groan as Y/N seized his cock in her right hand, slicked it with his precum and then began to pump her hand up and down his shaft. Y/N would allow her hand to loosen a little as she brought it to the base of Dean’s dick and then would tighten her grip on the return, squeezing really tight once her hand just reached that ever so sensitive area under his head.

Y/N’s grip intensified suddenly, as she came again. Dean briefly opened his eyes long enough to see Sam coming up for air. Dean didn’t want to come yet, so taking his chance he called out, “Switch!”

Sam appeared to get the hint and detached himself from Y/N’s folds, his fingers coming out with a slick pop and climbed up the bed as Dean eased Y/N’s hand off of his cock and went to where Sam had been just moments before.

“Ummmmmmngh?” Y/N whimpered as the contact disappeared momentarily, but Dean soon began delicately stroking the insides of her thighs with his hands before slipping two of his fingers inside the simmering heat of Y/N’s core.

“Mmmmmmm,” Y/N groaned appreciatively in Sam’s mouth as Dean began to curl his fingers against Y/N’s G-spot.

It wasn’t long before Y/N was grinding onto Dean’s hand, lifting her hips and Dean knew Y/N wanted more. The sight before and the desperate motions of Y/N’s body was sign of that, and his dick needed to be inside Y/N as it stood there, painfully hard. He looked up to ask if he could fuck Y/N and noticed that Sam was no longer on the bed, but was instead sat on a nearby chair, jerking himself as he watched Dean and Y/N.

“Y/N, do you want me inside you?” Dean asked, his voice husky and full of need.

“Yes!” Y/N gasped, rising up on Dean’s hand again.

Dean slowly pulled his fingers out and wiped Y/N on his cock as he moved up the bed. Pulling on Y/N’s hips, still kneeling below her, he angled her just right and began to push his throbbing need inside of her.

“Unnnnnnh,” Sam groaned from his perch, as Dean fully entered Y/N and began to slowly thrust. Concentrating on the sweet heat surrounding him, Dean massaged the inside of Y/N’s thighs before moving one hand down between them and finding Y/N’s clit. He rubbed it in time with his thrusts, desperate to make Y/N come again before he did.

“Unnnnmmmmmmnnnmmm,” Y/N moaned. Dean could tell she was close, but needed just one more extra push. Dean risked pulling his finger’s away from Y/N clit and sucked on them a moment, making them slick, before returning them to Y/N’s clit.

The increased lubrication was all Y/N needed, and suddenly Dean had to hold back as Y/N came, her walls pulling down on him, her hips lifting up into his.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmgh!” Y/N cried out.

Pulling his hand away from Y/N’s folds, Dean lowered himself to her so that he could begin to kiss and fuck at the same time. He relished gently biting Y/N’s bottom lip and making it plump out, then sucking on it before battling against Y/N’s tongue as she sought him out.

Dean began to increase the speed of his thrusts, no longer able to hold back. Y/N’s hips eagerly moved with his own. Their tongues slid over and circled each other. Pulling away for air, Dean felt himself go.

“Unnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnahhh!” Dean yelled, feeling himself come hard and hot. He continued to thrust, pumping himself into Y/N as he finished his release.

His chest heaving, he slowly pulled himself out and looked down at Y/N. She was smiling at him and Dean leaned down and kissed Y/N all over her face.

“May I?” Sam’s voice called him away and Dean suddenly looked up to see Sam still rock hard and needy.

“Yes!” Cried Y/N. Dean shuffled off of the bed, his cheeks burning slightly as his brother went over to Y/N. Without a word, Dean watched as Sam stroked Y/N’s left thigh just so and she flipped herself over and raised her hips into the air.

Dean couldn’t help watching and felt himself getting hard again, painfully so.

“Uuuuuuunnnnnnh!” Cried Y/N as she came again, and Dean couldn’t stop touching himself as he stood and watched Sam fuck Y/N from behind.

As Y/Ns breasts bounced and she leaned into Sam’s thrusts, Dean couldn’t help looking at the expression on Y/N’s face. Wanton need, bliss and pleasure all rolled up in one. Before he could stop himself, his increased sensitivity getting the better of him, Dean pulsed into his hand.

“Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngh!” He growled, which seemed to send Y/N over the edge, again.

“Ummmmmmmmmmmmmnnnnnh!” Screamed Y/N.

And that sent Sam over the edge, the domino effect complete, as Dean heard his brother cry, “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnh!”

Finding some tissues, Dean began cleaning off his hand as he lowered himself back onto the bed beside Sam and Y/N’s heaving bodies.

“That… was… un… believable!” Gasped Y/N as she slid down to the pillows, trying to catch her breath.

Sam sat down on the end of the bed, breathing heavily.

“Could someone get me a water?” Y/N asked, pulling herself into a sitting position. Dean nodded and went to their bags, quickly finding a bottle and tossing it to Y/N, which she deftly caught.

“Uh, Sam, water?” Dean asked.

“Uh, sure,” Sam said thickly. Dean obliged, tossing a bottle at Sam.

Grabbing a bottle for himself, Dean sat back down on the bed and tore the lid off of the bottle, swallowing the water down hard. He was exhausted. He had crossed boundaries he’d never even seriously thought about crossing before, and all he wanted to do now was just cuddle up on the bed with everyone.

As if sensing his thoughts, Y/N draped her arms around Dean’s shoulders and asked, “Cuddles?”

“Cuddles,” Dean replied, chucking the empty bottle of water to the floor and climbing on to the bed proper. With few words or nudges, the three of them formed a Y/N sandwich, with Dean lying on his right side, Y/N’s breasts and hips pressed against his back and ass, and Sam pressed up against Y/N’s back and buttocks, bed sheets covering them from the hip down. For a time, Dean couldn’t feel the Mark, just bliss, warmth and love, all thoughts of Sam’s displeasure with him gone.


	8. Looks Across A Room

Carrying bags filled with breakfast, you returned to the motel room. Sam was in the shower while Dean was checking through something on what looked liked Sam’s laptop.

“That better not be porn,” you joke, putting the bags down on a nearby table. No sooner than you’ve spoken, Dean guiltily shutters the laptop screen.

“I’m starving,” Dean declares, getting up and walking over to you and the haul of food. His nose tells him which parcel is clearly his, as he picks up a takeaway box that, even with your sense of smell back to its not very normal levels, was clearly filled with greasy bits of animal parts.

Picking up a plastic fork and knife, Dean takes his prize back over to the laptop, opens the box and begins to tuck into some greasy meaty thing in a bun that you can’t remember the name of.  You fish out your own pot of granola, yoghurt and berries out of another bag, grab a spoon and your fresh cup of coffee and sit down on the couch. You’re surprised that Sam isn’t out of the shower yet, but you begin to tuck into your breakfast anyway.

“How… can… you… eat… that… stuff?” Dean asks through bites of dripping meatiness.

Swallowing a mouthful of granola mixture, you reply, “It might look healthy, but there’s a bucket load of carbs in it.”

Dean regards your comment thoughtfully before getting back to his own breakfast. Your ears prick as you finally hear Sam turn the shower off. You continue to eat your granola, slowly waiting for Sam to enter the room.

“Hmmm, something smells good,” Sam announces as he steps out of the bathroom, dressed, his hair wet. You nod towards the haul on the table and Sam gives you a huge smile before going over to it. Sitting down beside you on the couch, Sam opens up his pot of granola, soya yoghurt and berries and begins to tuck in with his spoon.

Finishing your own pot, you get up from the couch, and then you feel Sam’s right hand on your ass. You look down on him, a cute smile on his lips as he holds onto his granola pot in his left hand. His eyes look up at you, asking you…

Bending down, you lean in for a kiss and are surprised when Sam teases your mouth open and brushes his yoghurt coated tongue against yours. You shiver slightly from the contact, before pulling away and smiling back. As you take your rubbish over to the table to put it inside the empty bags there, you look over at Sam and Dean in their respective seats and that’s when you notice it.

Sat so that they avoid each other’s faces, you wonder if they’re already regretting last night or if they’ve had another arugment.

“Uh-hmmm, guys, is something wrong?” You call over to them.

Their gazes drift to the floor, at the same time.

“Is this about last night?” You ask, worried.

Finally, the guys look at each other.

“I don’t expect this to come naturally to you, it doesn’t exactly come naturally to me,” you say, putting your rubbish in the bag, “but there’s no point getting all weird about it.”

“Y/N, do you still love me?” Sam suddenly asks.

“God, yes, Sam, I love you! But I’ve also got feelings for Dean, I can see that now. You’re both very similar and yet so hugely different - look, this better not be about making us choose.

“Do you still want to give us a chance?” You ask, looking between Dean and Sam.

The brothers look at each other, you can’t see Sam’s face, but Dean shrugs, his expression friendly.

“Yes,” says Sam, turning back to you.

“Please,” says Dean.

“Great, now can we please hit the road?” But as you catch another look between the brothers, you know that things still aren’t right between them, and no about of kissing or cuddling was going to help the damage Gadreel had wrecked.

*

The following morning, you crawl out of Sam’s bed back in the Bunker. Sam is already up and off on his run. Pulling on a robe and some slippers and head for the kitchen and coffee.

You smell Dean before you hear or see him. You feel your heart flutter a bit as Dean’s scent fills your nostrils - bourbon, leather, oil… Entering the kitchen, you see Dean sat at the table, laptop on, his eyes underlining what you already suspect: he hasn’t gotten any sleep.

“Hi there,” Dean says, not looking away from the laptop screen as you go for some coffee.

“Hey, no sleep?”

“No sleep.”

“Serious shit bothering you?” You ask bluntly, pouring yourself a mug of coffee.

“Yep.”

You sit down beside Dean. Dean shifts in his seat slightly, giving you a look, and you lean into him, resting your head on his left shoulder.

“Any leads on Gadreel, Metatron…?”

“Nope.”

Looking at the laptop screen, you see some story about a weird death in Stillwater, Minnesota. “Is that a case?” You ask.

“Might be. Gonna talk to Sammy about it when he gets back from his run.”

“When are you two gonna, be y’know… okay again, with each other?”

“Err, pass… but I know he enjoyed our time at the motel.” Dean curls his left arm around you and draws you into a hug, kissing the top of your head.

You tease yourself out of Dean’s grip and get up, taking your mug of coffee with you. “I’m gonna go shower and stuff.”

“'Kay… do you want to join us on the hunt, if we do go?”

Stopping by the kitchen doorway, you think carefully. “I might stay here and do some research into the Mark and the blade and stuff. I can read dead languages better than both of you.”

“Oh, thanks,” Dean replies, a smiling at you appreciatively.

*

You’re in the library when Sam pokes his head around the door. Your cell buzzes, reflexively, you push your cell out of sight. Sam doesn’t seem to notice.

“Uh, Dean says he already spoke to you?” Sam asks.

“What, about the weird death in Minnesota? Then yes.”

“You’re not coming?” Sam asks, his voice sounding slightly hurt.

“I figured I could be more help here, read some lore about the Mark and things.”

“Okay, no, you’re right, well, do you wanna come and say bye?”

Getting up from the seat, you stuff your cell in one of your pockets and follow Sam through the Bunker and out to the Impala. Dean is already sat in it, waiting.

“Here,” Sam says, giving you the key to the Bunker.

“Thanks, not that I’ll be heading out much,” you reply.

“Just in case then,” Sam smirks and bends down to kiss you on your upturned face. The warmth you feel is immense and you know you’re going to miss him.

Not to be outdone, Dean gets out of the Impala and sweeps you into a hug before giving you a kiss. “Don’t burn the place down,” he says as he lets go of you.

“Everything will be fine, guys, just go. If you need any help, give me a call.”

“Okay, okay,” Sam says, heading to the Impala, “come on Dean.”

As the doors slam and the engine roars into life you wave the guys off. Once the car is but a dot down the road, you pull your cell out of your pocket and look at the message stream that had been added to back in the library:

**You: The guys are heading to Minnesota. I know you’re no closer to the blade.**

**666: Ssssssh, Squirrel doesn’t know that.**

**You: U-huh. Well, if you’re tired of shooting up with shitty company - we should hang.**

**666: Why?**

You look at Crowley’s last message and lick your lips before replying:

**You: ‘Cause I wanna go on a road trip and you owe me for that gold.**

Hitting send, you don’t have to wait long for Crowley’s reply.

**666: Where to? When?**

If Karen was still good with you, you’d be texting her right now, or have brought her back with you to go and left off some steam together. Instead, you were texting with the King of Hell, arranging to play hooky from research. And you see nothing wrong with this.

Heading back into the Bunker to take your bags and chest to the garage, you text back:

**You: It’s a surprise. Get here in 15 minutes. And wear your sharpest suit. You’ll need it.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for part 5.
> 
> I hope you liked it :)
> 
> Don't forget to check out [Dreams from the Bunker](http://dreamsfromthebunker.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr.


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